Protons and electrons are just pimps and hookers but smaller, don’t even get me started on magnets either

OK, so the title is lighthearted today, but as always there’s a serious issue behind it. Long story short, my personality-free Science teacher is going to to cause my entire class to fail our qualification. Not only is he omitting important information from our lessons which we need to pass the damned thing, he’s actually teaching us most of it entirely wrong – like electron shells. In twenty minutes (and using the analogy of casual sex) I have learned more chemistry from my best friend than my teacher has in three weeks.

It makes me incredibly angry that my Science teacher isn’t even bright enough to teach his OWN SUBJECT PROPERLY. We’re sat in alphabetical order and the people on my table have an average IQ of about 41, and they keep chucking stuff across the table and nearly hitting me, which doesn’t help, then our stupid thick teacher just sticks on a video, won’t explain it, do work bitches, that’s it now fuck off so I can smoke some pot out the back door. He won’t even make eye contact.

In fact, I have a theory that he just doodled penises on his final exam for his Physics degree because he was so stoned, and passed only because the examiner had been breathing second hand smoke, and was too lethargic to add an extra line to make that tick a cross.

(Not to insinuate a phallic illustration is the incorrect answer every time. Who knows, you might get lucky.)

Either way, I’m quite busy with homework right now. Dad’s got his new house, it’s awesome.

Have a nice night guys, I’ll provide a follow-up to my last article when I have time. I’m full of ideas.